The People are who are important. What else is important in life. Relationships are important. But do realise that for some it is these very relationships which screw up their lives. Right now everything is so damn confusing.
What if someone you had a relationship and ended it conveniently decides to come back and haunt you??? Are they the ghost people???
Bleddy Relationships, Bleddy Ghosts and Bleddy People!!!
Hey I have moved to my own blog address. http://www.aravindkumar.com
I welcome you guys and girls there.
It is that time of the year when you get to stuff your face with sweets. Anyways here is to not wishing you a Great Diwali!!! Why?Am I freakin’ out of my mind? No No. As I say there is so much confusion about Diwali. See there are so many stories behind it. Here is the most ridiculous one I heard.
There was a Asura (Demon) known as Mahasura. He was a real wicked Dude living in the mountains. Eating shit loads of stuff. He was a terror in the neighbouring villages. So the villagers headed by our Panchayat chief (Nattammai Vijaykumar) signed a treaty called The Mahasura Treaty. Find the conditions of the Treaty below
The villagers will send a chauffeur driven bullock cart with three Massive Balls of Rice to the Mountains.
Sd/-
Mahasura a.k.a The Wicked Dude
Nattammai Vijayakumar
So the villagers (under the explicit orders of Nattammai Vijayakumar) started sending a chauffer driven bullock cart with three massive food Balls everyday. As the Days went by they could see a new peak in the moutain range. It was the bones of the bullocks and the chauffeurs which was piling up along with all the shitting going on.
So one day Mr Bhima (Not to be confused with Bhim Boy from Michael Madana Kama Rajan, though he did play Bhima in the Mahabharatha Serial) who was in exile with his family members (i.e 4 brothers, one mother and the common wife) found out that Nattammai Vijayakumar is hand in glove with Mahasura. So he kills the Nattammai, and tells the villagers that he will be the chauffeur this time. His Mom asks him not to go. He does not care. The Common Wife pleads, cries and begs him not to go as none of the other brothers are as good as him in bed. (Yudhishtar can’t fantasize because that’s living a lie, Arjun is always aiming for the spot but he is only good with arrows, Nakul and Sahadev are really losers and can’t do much.)
But being the hero he is Bhima goes with the cart. and once he reaches the asura’s cave he realizes that he is very hungry. So he starts gobbling the massive food balls. But while he is eating the third food ball Mahasura wakes up and stands on top of the mountains and sees him food being eaten by some Mahmud Ali Look alike.
There is a huge fight, but each time Bhima tears Mahasura’s body apart he says some magic and the halves join together.
Bhima may have been good in bed
But bleddy no brain in his head.
Once out of frustration he throws the halves in opposite directions. Now body halves got confused and could not join. So Mahasura died and to celebrate his death we eat all those sweets!!! Well this is something I heard from a very unreliable source but he argued till the end that this is the real deal.
Yeah I have never heard this story being connected to Diwali. But Diwali is supposed to be celebrated on a New Moon Day(Night when the moon can’t be seen, namma moon samy can see it though) Why is it celebrated on the previous day in TamilNadu?
After winnig the war in Sri Lanka Rama boarded the special BJP jet plane from Colombo but as the flight was passing the Arignar Anna International Airport it developed some technical snag (Flights were free gifts to the party by Air Deccan) and had to land in Chennai better known as Madras then 
Rama and his team were made to stay at The GRT Raddisson and the people of TamilNadu heard of the dark dude and the fair lady and visited him there. The Sivakasi Firecracker Manufacturers Association(clever people that they are) told the Tamil People that bursting crackers was how a hero has to be welcomed. So that’s how fireworks came into existence.( No it was not the Chinese for Godsake!!!Please stop saying Chinese for everything) All this happened one day before Rama got to Ayodhya. So we celebrate it one day before the North Indians.
Also apparently the Tamilians don’t eat meat on the New Moon Day. So that’s when a conspiracy was hatched to celebrate Diwali one day ahead of the real festival.
If you have any Diwali stories. Please leave a comment I sure love listening to them and blogging about them.
Have you heard of Vishwa? If not please Read ahead…If you have and chances are you have. Still go ahead and read on.
There was a discusson during the Chennai Photowalk. Everyone wanted to know who Vishwa is? Well this Video is of Sathya with his Vishwa. Yes the peacock feathers represent Vishwa (Read about Vishwa Here.Coming up next : Dilip’s Version of Vishwa). Strange that Sathya would hold body parts of a peacock and pose for photos.Something he normally wouldn’t do…
He is a narcissist though, so the poem goes
A Peacock
Is Holding Peacocks’ feathers
Adadey!!!
All said in Code language. He is a Master Cipher and talks a lot in code language.So decipher what he was trying to say.If you know the message please feel free to leave a comment and I would take you out for Dinner if your answer is right. The catch is Sathya will be the judge. Good Luck!!!Cheers!!!
Photo Courtesy: Amirtha
Words make a big difference in this life. Afterall “It’s only words and words are all I have to take your heart away” a real mushy number from Boyzone who have disappeared into some word less place. I know this girl who studied French with me and she sang that song at the Summer fete at Alliance Francaise of Madras. But she is in no way related to this post.
Words have changed history, geography, science etc. You name it and it has been changed by words. Be it the written word or the spoken one. What is the most powerful thing on earth “WORDS” it can change anything anyone anyplace overnight. Madras became Chennai, Jayalalitha became J. Jayalalithaa a.k.a Amma, Hitlers words changed the fate of a race.
Just imagine a life without words, just sign language. I am reminded of old Charlie Chaplin movies which he directed before the Talkies happened so funny but yet again he had to use the written word between scenes.
I wrote about my buddy in crime “Now XXXXXXXXXXX was stopped by the girls when he was trying to take a general picture of the crowd. Reason being he looks like a School Boy Youth” Yeah he threatened me with death if I did not change school boy to something else.
I know this girl who I met through some friends. We met last night and I saw that her nose is all red and me get all concerned when somone is not feeling well
Me : Are you feeling well?
Girl : Yes!!I am perfectly fine!!!
Me : No just that your nose looks like Santa Claus’ nose.
Girl : @##$$ @!@#%$ %#$%$!!!!
I am pretty sure it was something nasty.
Last night was not a great night because I came back and I was chatting with my Buddy Crime and lemme reproduce it here.
Well, let me assure you this has nothing to do with my boss. Well to tell you the truth my team in FindNearYou.com is probably the coolest team. We get to meet celebrities and do a lot of cool stuff and the best part is FindNearYou.com is one big happy family kinds. Lots of fun. But as I said this is not about work so…
I was invited by Alexandra for a beach get-together one Friday evening. (This was happening in the same beach where they have a memorial upon which people piss all the time. Infact one friend of a friend of a friend even found a couple making out. If someone would come too close their secret code was tch…tch…) So Alexandra her boyfriend Arnaud, Laury and me got some sandwiches and then went in search of the picnikers. We found them sitting right at the beach front drinking beer.(Is that not illegal?) Anyways there were men and women, young and old, chatty and quiet, students and office goers and the best, French and German. They were in separate groups and I could catch some words in French. Though the German skidded away to glory over my bald head. I realized I have a prejudice that the German and French are like sworn enemies. (Well if you are wondering why, you really need to bruch your history!!!) But they were nothing of that sort, though they sat in separate circles they were all mingling and jingling.
After a while people started getting up and I was like “Finally picnic over”. But while that thought was running I realized these people were walking towards the sea. They were going for a swim. They were changing right over there with the local boys who were watching all this passing nasty comments.
But before too many people realized what was happening they were having a ball in the dirty salty water. There were some who had stayed back, like my friends Arnaud, Alexandra, Laury and Camille. Slowly a crowd was gathering around us and I was like ” These guys have gone crazy” But a group of guys walked up to me and started talking to me.
Boy1 : Excuse me Boss!! Hello Boss!!!
Boy 2 : Are you from foreign?
I was really in no mood to talk.
Boy 1 Excuse me Boss. Are you working or Studying?
Boy 3 : Dai Avarukku English Theriyadhunnu Ninnaikiren( I think he does not understand english)
Boy 1 : Excuse me Boss. Just talk something.Let us have friendship.
I was wondering “Is he Gay and hitting on me?” I just ignored him and after a while they left having realized no one was talking with them.
I keep wondering why he kept saying “Excuse me Boss” he should have called me MOTTAI BOSS!!!!. Bleddy Fella!!!
For an Audio Version excusemeboss
As it dawned on Sunday in Yelagiri I realized a lot of things. My Paragliding dreams had crashed. Yes Yelagiri has a Adventure Sports Club which has quite some interesting things to do. But Paragliding was not happening yesterday. But to make yourself useful, the best things to do would be to meet people talk to them and see what you can gather out of the sleepy town with a lot of stray dogs and awesomely tasty fruits. (The Jackfruits from this town is great.)
Nothing much was done on Saturday either. Though I learnt to play Blackjack, Poker, 3 Cards and other card games sometime during the night.
Earlier on Saturday Sharan and I had taken the bus to the hill station before which we had waited for the bus at Jolarpettai while listening to a girl talk on one of those wayside Tea Stall’s Pay Phone. It was one of the most interesting speech I had heard in a while. Though I would have loved to hear the other side of that conversation too.
She was getting guys and girls ready for some programme. She was asking “Are the Girls Good Looking?” “Are they thin? because people either ask for thin girls or they ask for plump girls.” The guys were never discussed. She was loud and called herself Sindhu. Though I did assume what programme she was conducting I can assure you that it was not a Doordarshan Programme.
Back to my Sunday’s dashed paragliding dreams. though I did miss my adventure for the weekend I was very happy when I boarded the Banglore Express back to Chennai. I did something that I normally don’t, I crossed 4 railway tracks 2 railway platforms and got into the train from the wrong side of the platform. (What Platform actually there was no platform?)
Bleddy Adventure…
Bookmarks have been around for a long time. Even before the web decided to happen. But it is strange that today we have so many kinds of bookmarks in this era of web 2.0 that we have forgotten teeny weeny Mr. Bookmark. When I was in school bookmarks was one of the most cool things to have. It had a fan following of students teachers and parents alike.
Some students had the unfair advantage of having stay at home moms. Moms who would cover their notebooks neatly. Label the Notebooks and then stick a bookmark to a thin ribbon and paste it in the top inner spine of the book. Some of the mother even got the initials of their children drawn on the bookmark. I always found it ridiculous that parents would go through such trouble so that the children can show off their unique bookmarks to their classmates. I thought that bookmarks were too sissy and that they did not have the intended cool factor. So I never had one. (I Could effectively turn pages.)
So the parents loved bookmarks, my friends had so many bookmarks all stuck to their notebooks and the best part was they came with all kind of designs and I remember Tom and Jerry, Popeye, Asterix, TinTin and so many more and the lady teachers simply loved bookmarks. Because they said that it made life easy for them when they corrected the students Home Work(HW). Most teachers would be pissed off at me for not having placed a bookmark at the appropriate pages. Anyways there are too many bookmark stories. Basically I hated bookmarks when I was a primary school student at Don Bosco, Egmore.
Something happened at work which reminded me of bookmarks. We were in a meeting and we had a discussion about bookmarks and how we could use them and Amousia man who is a SEO Specialist( He is brilliant at his job) says “We are already bookmarking all that needs to be bookmarked. Amousia man is too focussed to even understand what is happening in a world outside his SEO world. Wake up Amousia Man and smell the roses. there is more to life than just Ctrl + D .
Life is short so let’s rock it all the way to the end. But mind what you are rocking because if you rock the boat too hard you may end up in a sharks stomach.
It is sad to know that Music (Rock’nRoll) is associated with a certain lifestyle. There are supposed to be the rock stars themselves, then there are supposed to be the groupies(apparently the rock stars rock them) then there is the Drugs (which supposedly rock the rock stars) So to put a better perspective
Drugs rock ROCK STARS
ROCK STARS rock the Groupies
No!!! The Groupies don’t rock ROCK MUSIC no way they can!!!
so
Rock Music which is just amazing does not fit into the Drugs and or the Sex Culture. It is Drugs and Sex which got themselves fitted into Rock Music.
I have been to a few rock shows thanks to FindNearYou.com, RockandRaga.in and Unwind Center and the best part is I have been on stage with the rockers (I was not playing music, of course not) taking photographs and shooting Videos. It is incredible to see the kind of energy and talent that is required for the rock stars to play their music. They need all the energy which cannot be given by Sex or Drugs.
Narain and me are going to be at Underground 2008. Look out for the bald guy and the thin tall guy with their respective cameras.
I was once told that the best DMP printer that I could lay my hands on was a WeP LX 800DX printer. As usual I never bothered to verify their claims and just got it. For people who have never had to know what a DMP is, it is a Dot Matrix Printer. Yes the one which goes keeech… keeech, kich…keech…keech, keech and takes about 2 minutes to print a single fanfold page.
Careless fellow I am I lost the printer manual. So I emailed the folks at WeP asking them for a manual.
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Hey,
I own a WeP LX 800DX Dot Matrix Printer. I have lost the user manual for this printer.Would you kindly Send me a Copy either as an attachment or as a link from where I can download it from.
Regards,
Aravind Kumar B.
I got this reply
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||
Sir,
Can you send us your mailing address & contact no.? We will have a copy sent to you.
Regards,
Ramdin
Yes I did reply to them today
Hi God,
Dont you think it hilarious that I would still own a piece of crap like your printer. more funny that you would be so courteous and reply to my mail after March, April, May, June, July, August, September and you ask me for my address. Are you sure you are not using the Indian Postal Service to send Emails.
Rest assured I am putting this right away in my blog. Highlighting the Turn Around Time you take and you want my postal address to snail Mail a copy of the printer Manual.
Just to let you know I trashed that piece of shitty printer..
Best Wishes…
Aravind
P.S.: Nothing Personal it is just Business
These guys are Freakingly Funny. Why would they remind me of a piece of shitty printer whose manual I don’t have.. I am just an average Indian Customer you Corporate Honchos. You can SHAFT me all you want and I will usually take it lying down.
P.S. : I got pissed off because these guys are still asking me for my postal address and contact number so they can send the printer manual to some of my descendants. Hold on to it guys who knows it maybe a collectors item then…
