High Five! 

Up until recently I did not realize the physical power that kids can have. Was playing with a 15month old kid. I taught him to High Five and then to Low Five and we practiced for a while. Then the kid called me and asked me to pick him up. He hardly lets anyone other than his parents to pick him up and I was excited because it seemed like he really liked me because I was teaching him new stuff. 

So I picked him and BAM!!!! he high fived my bald head and God that hurt. But he was so proud of how he had high fived my head. I then had to sit him down and teach him high fives were to be done palm to palm and not palm to head. 

I think he got it right. Otherwise my Brother-in-law is getting high fived on his head each time he picks up his son.  

Of Wedding Feasts – Scenario 2

Weddings are awesome except for the Jumping Jacks and Jills, wedding feasts are not at least not any more.  I remember eating at a wedding feast in Kaaraikudi the wedding took place in one of those massive Chettiar houses. It is probably the best wedding feast I have ever been to. So many kinds of paniyarams, adai, potato, egg plant, okra and so many of those awesome dishes that chettinad has to offer. (In fact I hate these restaurants in Chennai which call themselves Chettinad when all they do is add a lot of chilly in the food) The persons serving would actually come to you and ask you if you would like a serving and if you refuse they would try and persuade you to give it a shot. This way it ensures that you eat what you really want and you don’t end up wasting food. All said and done let’s see what Scenario 2 has in store for us. If you have not read Scenario 1, please do so here.

Scenario 2

So the wedding is over and you have dodged all those tricky questions people asked you and you are on your way to the dining hall. There is a saying in Tamil “Pandhikku mundhanum” (Be first at the wedding feast) being there first will ensure that you don’t have to wait and that the items that have been prepared are still hot/warm, the payasam still thick and you get a nice clean place to sit and eat. If you did not rush to the dining hall after the thali tying has finished then you will have to wait for a while till probably a kind relative or friend joins you in the quest for a seat. So finally you have been seated (so what if there is payasam, water and random bits of food spilt on the floor or if the plantain leaf from the previous round has not been cleared you got a seat didn’t you? You are such a fighter!)

So there you are eating while you are trying to dodge all the random bits of food that is being thrown on your leaf and you suddenly realize that while you were concentrating on what was happening in front, a group of people have sneaked in behind you and they are watching your plantain leaf just like an eagle eyes a rat. No! they are not going to eat your food they are waiting for you to finish the food on your leaf. These guys/girls put you in an absolute pressure situation. But never let them do it to you. If there are people standing behind always ALWAYS ask for second helpings of all the items you liked. Maybe even a third helping. You can ask for a huge serving of rice make space in the middle for the sambar and dunk the potato pieces in the sambar and try to see if you can find it.

Well you can’t be sitting there for ever so you will want to leave sometime. But remember to go jostle with the crowd at the beeda stall and get betel stains on your clothes. Whatever you do Always remember to collect your thamboolam pai.

I did call it manjai pai in my last post but people are creative these days and you get so many colours but the items remain the same, Coconut to be used for next morning’s chutney (that is if you don’t have another wedding to attend) and betel leaf for the oldies in the house.

What is the most weird thing you have seen happen at a wedding feast? I think people rushing to be first at the dining hall is extremely weird it is like they were not there for the wedding but just for the wedding feast.

I have another wedding to attend this week so hopefully there will be an inspiration for scenario 3. 🙂

 

Of Wedding Feasts – Scenario 1

Every once so often I get invited to a wedding where I simply can’t refuse to eat.

Weddings are complicated affairs so much is expected of you and there will be people whom you have never met in your life jumping out of nowhere calling you by name and then proceed to ask you if you recognize them. At this point if I’ve not figured out who the person is I blurt out some random name, most people get offended, correct me and then proceed to do this to another person.

But I will tell you what is more complicated than the wedding, it is the wedding feast.

Scenario 1

The wedding is between 9am and 10:30am and you have landed there at about 10am. You are recieved very warmly and then escorted directly to the dining area while you are asked “tiffin saaptingala?” You are seated in the dining hall and there are just a handful of people eating and you can’t escape once the escort has turned his/her back. You have to eat and they will send out everything possible from the kitchen. Idly, Vada, Pongal, Dosai, Oothapam, Poori, Parota (Dei, it is morning breakfast da how much variety can one eat.) If you as much as refuse something then someone will stand next to you while saying “Saar nalla sapudanga saar.” (Dei, I already had breakfast in my house).

Breakfast over and you are hurrying to catch the thali tying, you don’t want to miss that do  you? So the ceremony is over and then you meet all those Jumping Jacks and Jills who come at you with all kinds of questions. Next you have to stand in a queue to meet and greet the couple and you are finally through with everything by around 12 noon and you should be on your way to whatever it is you do when you are not attending weddings. You are leaving and the Chithappa or worse still the parents of the bride or groom catch you leaving without having lunch. OMG! now it is back to a crowded dining hall. Since it is crowded you can try and exit the building through the kitchen walk around and exit the compound without being detected. But remember if you are not carrying the yellow bag with coconut, betel leaves (Dying actually) and betel nuts you could get caught.

The other option is that you sit for lunch even though your 2nd jumbo breakfast is still in your body till nose level. If you thought the breakfast was jumbo well then you probably would not have words for the number of items they dump on your plantain leaf for lunch.

Here is a sample course…

Lay out plantain leaf

Pour water on plantain leaf to clean it – (I am sure capable of pouring water on my  plantain leaf and clean it well.)

  1. Rasamalai/rasagulla in small plastic cup
  2. Mysorepak – Why two sweets you may ask? A sweet should accompany a sweet according to vaasthu no wait i think it is in the kalacharam.
  3. Chappati with Mushroom Gravy and Paneer Butter Masala
  4. Vegetable Biriyani
  5. White Rice Dumped on the leaf.
  6. Paruppu for small portion of rice with 2 spoons of ghee
  7. Sambar poured on top of the mountain of rice.
  8. Kootu
  9. Cauliflower/Mushroom/Babycorn dish
  10. Poriyal
  11. Cutlet
  12. Thugayal
  13. Appalam
  14. Pappadam
  15. Rasam
  16. Buttermilk/Curd
  17. Payasam
  18. Ice Cream

The number of dishes that are served (18 in this case) should add up to 9. 9 is the sacred number. The more number of dishes served in multiples of 9 show the wealth and social standing of the person. – Raja the Caterer and Numerologist

And the best part about all this these dishes are served in quick succession. You hardly have time to say no to the dishes. Also you should eat quickly because there are other people standing behind you and staring at you eat while they are waiting their turn. Sometimes you might hear waterfalls behind you.

Most people eventually leave a lot of the food on the leaf because they just cannot eat it before the pandhi is up. What a waste!

So once you have finished all this you can leave after getting your manja pai (Yellow bag). Never, NEVER refuse the yellow bag it is considered as the ultimate insult to the host. You can even refuse to eat.

This is brings us to the end of Scenario 1. Hope you mentally enjoyed the feast. I will be back with more. Scenarios I mean. 🙂

 

You still use Cutlery? You must be stupid.

Oh yeah this post is to tell you folks why eating with your fingers is best.

The fingers are your own and you know where it has been. You can wash it well before you eat.

The cutlery may not necessarily be yours especially if you are eating out and you can never be sure where it has been.

Some of you may wonder then why use a plate and all the fancy China. I would suggest you use a plantain leaf to eat from. It is much more healthy and very eco-friendly.

Licking your fingers after a meal means you have truly enjoyed your meal. Have you seen people licking their cutlery it looks gross.

If the food is bad you can give them (the cooks/chefs) the finger. If you are using cutlery you still give them the finger. Giving them the cutlery will not really insult them.

So next time you go out REMEMBER that the washed fingers is the best you can eat your food with.

Please don’t worry about what Oprah had to say. She may be dark but she’s still from the USA.

Posted from my mobile phone.

Visit http://forskolindanger.com website for more info.

Tickler of Tonsils

Sharing a sweet kiss with a loved one should not only be spontaneous but also with Love and Affection. If you have plans on tickling the tonsils of your loved one in public then you should consider getting a room. Affection in public is cool. But then Tonsil tickling, breast rubbing, penis rubbing, dry humping, ass grabbing is so NOT cool. Surely not in a public park for the viewing of all and sundry. I know there are people who feel that love should not be inhibited. But the acts that I have mentioned above may not be an embarrassment for you shameless people who indulge in it but it is surely an embarrassment for those who have to see you.

After checking http://uvuperformance.com and having watched too many English Movies, IndianTonsil Ticklers now feel that Tonsil Tickling in public is cool. The way you tonsil ticklers are doing it is way too CREEPY and SLY. You can’t give your lady/guy love a full passionate kiss with your eyes closed and the lips doing the work. You have to have your eyes wide open looking for people who are watching you. It is like you get a kick out of people watching you (Voyeur of Voyeurs). Your tongues should be cut off. You are not fit to kiss. Atleast not in public.

I am not against kissing or holding hands or even cuddling in public. But going at the guy/girl of your present dream, like he/she may not be around tomorrow makes me feel that you have paid the guy/girl by the hour and now you are trying to make use of her like you would use a whore. Not only are you not respecting him/her but you are making a public spectacle out of it.

Anyways I wish and pray and hope that the next time you tickle his/her tonsils he/she will puke on your face. The next time your tongue is in his/her ear it starts oozing pus and when that happens I hope someone takes a picture of the state of your face. Would truly be a KODAK moment. Happy Tickling!

Some Interesting stuff I read.

http://thisladysays.blogspot.com/2007/10/public-display-of-affection.html

http://www.fodors.com/community/europe/public-displays-of-affection.cfm

http://www.speakeasy.org/~jmabel/travels/pda.html

http://eurout.org/2009/08/05/penny-your-thoughts-public-display-affection?page=0,3

http://www.nypress.com/article-14228-lust-life-public-displays-of-affection.html

I am horrified!!!

I thought when one gets married they can move on to the other side of the Altar and then not be horrified with the things that go on in life. But no, horror is part and parcel of life and it is indeed a wonderful thing to watch horror movies

Go on and Enjoy some of the best horror movies to be ever made.

It is time to be horrified

Diwali – The True Story

It is that time of the year when you get to stuff your face with sweets. Anyways here is to not wishing you a Great Diwali!!! Why?Am I freakin’ out of my mind? No No. As I say there is so much confusion about Diwali. See there are so many stories behind it. Here is the most ridiculous one I heard.

There was a Asura (Demon) known as Mahasura. He was a real wicked Dude living in the mountains. Eating shit loads of stuff. He was a terror in the neighbouring villages. So the villagers headed by our Panchayat chief (Nattammai Vijaykumar) signed a treaty called The Mahasura Treaty. Find the conditions of the Treaty below

The Mahasura Treaty

  1. The villagers will send a chauffeur driven bullock cart with three Massive Balls of Rice to the Mountains.

  2. In Return I Mahasura will not come to the village and eat random people.

Sd/-

Mahasura a.k.a The Wicked Dude

Nattammai Vijayakumar

So the villagers (under the explicit orders of Nattammai Vijayakumar) started sending a chauffer driven bullock cart with three massive food Balls everyday. As the Days went by they could see a new peak in the moutain range. It was the bones of the bullocks and the chauffeurs which was piling up along with all the shitting going on.

So one day Mr Bhima (Not to be confused with Bhim Boy from Michael Madana Kama Rajan, though he did play Bhima in the Mahabharatha Serial) who was in exile with his family members (i.e 4 brothers, one mother and the common wife) found out that Nattammai Vijayakumar is hand in glove with Mahasura. So he kills the Nattammai, and tells the villagers that he will be the chauffeur this time. His Mom asks him not to go. He does not care. The Common Wife pleads, cries and begs him not to go as none of the other brothers are as good as him in bed. (Yudhishtar can’t fantasize because that’s living a lie, Arjun is always aiming for the spot but he is only good with arrows, Nakul and Sahadev are really losers and can’t do much.)

But being the hero he is Bhima goes with the cart. and once he reaches the asura’s cave he realizes that he is very hungry. So he starts gobbling the massive food balls. But while he is eating the third food ball Mahasura wakes up and stands on top of the mountains and sees him food being eaten by some Mahmud Ali Look alike.

There is a huge fight, but each time Bhima tears Mahasura’s body apart he says some magic and the halves join together.

Bhima may have been good in bed

But bleddy no brain in his head.

Once out of frustration he throws the halves in opposite directions. Now body halves got confused and could not join. So Mahasura died and to celebrate his death we eat all those sweets!!! Well this is something I heard from a very unreliable source but he argued till the end that this is the real deal.

Yeah I have never heard this story being connected to Diwali. But Diwali is supposed to be celebrated on a New Moon Day(Night when the moon can’t be seen, namma moon samy can see it though) Why is it celebrated on the previous day in TamilNadu?

After winnig the war in Sri Lanka Rama boarded the special BJP jet plane from Colombo but as the flight was passing the Arignar Anna International Airport it developed some technical snag (Flights were free gifts to the party by Air Deccan) and had to land in Chennai better known as Madras then 😉 Rama and his team were made to stay at The GRT Raddisson and the people of TamilNadu heard of the dark dude and the fair lady and visited him there. The Sivakasi Firecracker Manufacturers Association(clever people that they are) told the Tamil People that bursting crackers was how a hero has to be welcomed. So that’s how fireworks came into existence.( No it was not the Chinese for Godsake!!!Please stop saying Chinese for everything) All this happened one day before Rama got to Ayodhya. So we celebrate it one day before the North Indians.

Also apparently the Tamilians don’t eat meat on the New Moon Day. So that’s when a conspiracy was hatched to celebrate Diwali one day ahead of the real festival.

If you have any Diwali stories. Please leave a comment I sure love listening to them and blogging about them.

Sathya and Vishwa – Part 1

Have you heard of Vishwa? If not please Read ahead…If you have and chances are you have. Still go ahead and read on.

There was a discusson during the Chennai Photowalk. Everyone wanted to know who Vishwa is? Well this Video is of Sathya with his Vishwa. Yes the peacock feathers represent Vishwa (Read about Vishwa Here.Coming up next : Dilip’s Version of Vishwa). Strange that Sathya would hold body parts of a peacock and pose for photos.Something he normally wouldn’t do…

He is a narcissist though, so the poem goes

 

A Peacock

Is Holding Peacocks’ feathers

Adadey!!!

All said in Code language. He is a Master Cipher and talks a lot in code language.So decipher what he was trying to say.If you know the message please feel free to leave a comment and I would take you out for Dinner if your answer is right. The catch is Sathya will be the judge. Good Luck!!!Cheers!!!

Photo Courtesy: Amirtha

Girls and Women are complicated…

You could also call this Part 2 of Girls Colleges are dumb. Well you can call this what you want I really would be happy if you came up with an alternate title for this post.

I was surfing You Tube this morning and I normally look for Stand up Comedy shows. So I was watching this clip of Carlos Menci…

http://www.youtube.com/v/rzsfIA3YKvs&hl=en&fs=1

Funny guy, he says what he says with a lot of courage and gets people to laugh. But I don’t know if he has feminists wanting to murder him. I would love to see if I can get away with this.

Anyways basically girls/women are complicated. Read Narain’s experience with a 7 year old called Yasmin. Poor fellow freaked out with the things she said. I really doubt if a boy would have said the things Yasmin said.

Just like Carlos says women have too many things on their mind. Sometimes it is very nice. But most times it gets on my nerves to know that they are thinking of something/someone else when they are talking to me.

So coming back to the college culturals… Did I mention that I was not allowed to go out for lunch and worse still was they did not have a Restroom for guys.( Restroom is such a stupid word, whoever coined that must have slept while taking a poop or maybe while standing at the urinal to take a leak) I was offered by a girl that she would stand guard while I took a nice grand leak in the ladies room. (Ofcourse I refused.) What’s worse I was complaining to a few lady professors about how we were not being allowed to go out for lunch or any break for the matter of fact and this lady professor looks at me and says “Oh, they probably think that you are a college student” I was like “What, are you kidding? this must be some kind of joke” The professor just left with a grin whose meaning I am still deciphering.

All said and done, My friend Amirtha was not let into the college. Fishing Embarassing. But Narain who also happens to be her friend somehow managed to get her in. The question I had and still have is “Why won’t they let a girl into a girls college?” Men please dont attempt answers to these questions because we are not meant to answer them. Women please do leave your answers.Men please ask more questions.

Cheers!!! People. I have so many Girls College Stories. Someone of them give me nightmares. (Just kidding about the nightmares.)

8 = Saneeswaran (Saturday God)

Life is full of bullshit but sometimes when you hear weird things like “My partner (in life) believes in numerology and so I avoid the number 8” now that’s taking it too far. Our society has evolved and hopefully will keep evolving but one thing that has not changed even among the educated is the “Art of Controlling”. Now that’s a fine art to master. But again you don’t want to be control freaks.

Anyways about the Saturday God, he is the son of the Sun God and Chayadevi (Shadow Goddess) Now Chaya Devi is actually the Shadow of Suryans Wife, Samjana Devi. Yeah kind of confusing right. Click here and read the story in detail.
There are a lot of stories related to the Saturday God. What he can do? All the troubles he can give etx etc. But there is this girl I know, Sita is her name and Saniyane her favourite word. So I called her up on a SATURDAY and this is the Conversation we had…

Aravind : Hey Saniyane Sorry Sita.

Sita : Enna da Nakala????(What making fun of me HUH?)

Aravind : No you keep using it and I am kind of hooked on to it now. Dhandam. Shit Sorry again…

Sita : Oh Ok. So now I am to be blamed. Anyways why did you call me up? (Girls get straight to the Point don’t they)

Aravind : Oh just to tell you that.

Sita : Tell me what?

Aravind : That you are the cause for me using the word Saniyane.

Sita : Oh really, Are you drunk or something?

Aravind : Oops… Sorry… (And I hung up.)

Anyways just to let you all know. I don’t drink and drive, Drink and Talk Oh!!! I actually dont even drink. My vices are in a direction that you can’t imagine. Don’t worry as long as your friends with me you will never get to find out.

But it is true that 7.5 is what is equated to Saneeswaran I guess some mathematician numerologist dude decided to approximate 7.5 to 8 and make 8 the Saturday Gods number. I think they should make 7 the unlucky number. Afterall Saturday is the 7th day. Now it is also a known thing that Chevvai (Tuesday) is also an unlucky day. If we take 7.5 and add the digits 7+5=12 => 1+2=3 and Tuesday is the third day of the week. So thats where this is going. So if two days in a week are unlucky we have 104 unlucky days in a year. Now multiply that with 50 million people(Let’s say half the Indian people don’t believe in this Nonsense)
Well so we have 50million x 104 man days when people think that it is an unlucky day. What will these people do on these days. Nothing new will be undertaken. Whattay waste of Time?

Anyhow we will soon be a Vallarasu Naadu (prosperous Country). Because we still have Information Technology. And we perform pooja for the computers. Right said… Computers are our Gods now.

Sanee Maharaj Ki Jai!!! (Long Live the Saturday

King)

Men, Women and Public Transport

Last night after covering two music concerts for Rockand Raga , (one at the Unwind Center in Adyar and a Jazz concert at the Gandhi Nagar Club) on my way back Sathya and me decided to take the bus back home. So waited for a while to catch 29C in Adyar.(This is one of the oldest and probably the longest route in Chennai. Starts from Beasant Nagar and ends at Aynavaram.)

So in the meanwhile we entertained ourselves by stopping autorickshaws and asking them how much they’ll charge for a trip to Kilpauk. They quoted anywhere in the range of 180-200Rupees. And when I refused to go for the ride they wanted to take me for. They would ask me to quote my price. and I’d quote in the range of 50-70 Rupees. Yeah it is a game I often play with auto fellows and I love seeing that pissed off look on their face.

So finally the bus got there and I had to stop playing games with the Autorickshaw guys and got in with Sathyanarain( Yeah the same guy who has decided to moderate the comments on his blogpost) and while there were hardly any women and the entire bus was filled with men. Narain and I were totally tired and there was this lady occupying a seat. The seat next to her was empty and there were so many men standing. I asked Narain to occupy that seat and he was like “Don’t know how she will react?”

Yeah and I have seen women give all kinds of reaction. Most of them get aggressive and ask the men folk to move away from what is rightfully theirs. I have seen some of them shove school children out of the ladies seat. But let me tell you my story.

I was sitting in a bus in the last row because other places were filled with people. (Last row is for ladies in most buses in Chennai) I was the only one in the last row no one else. At one of the stops a lady climbs in and comes to where I am sitting.

Lady: Please get up I want to sit here.

Me : Well, the entire row is empty and you can sit anyplace.

Lady : No I wanna sit here.

Me Ok if you want to. ( So I move to another place in the same row)

Lady : No this is a Ladies only seat so please get up. Men should not sit here.

Me : Oh alright. Fair enough. Thanks for telling me. I am really dumb you know

(I was really angry by now. I still got up not wanting to fight with the lady and was moving away)

Lady (In a loud Voice) : Men are such Bastards.

Me turns around walks upto her gets really up and close and demanded an apology. While she refused to apologize, I gave her what she did not expect, a toffee. She was completely embarrassed and got down at the next bus stop. Infact everyone was shocked. They expected something serious to happen. But I just wanted the world to know that women can behave like that too. She took the heat, not me. I hope and wish and pray that such abusive women are shown the right path.

What would you have done in a situation like this men and women?Please leave your comments.

Nokia – Conning People The Nokia 1108 Story

Anyone can buy a white elephant,
But keeping it white takes a lot of effort!!!

So said some clever guy. So while you wonder why I am saying things like Nokia, Conning and White Elephant I realized I am crow shitting you people. I am just saying a bunch of crap, let me get to the point…
If you have read my Very FIRST POST, you will realise that I blog from the comfort of my Mobile Phone. Anywhere kind of blogging.(I’ve become senile, so I have to write things down immediately, lest… forgot what I had to say,am definitely senile) The phone is a NOKIA 9300 Communicator. Fans of the Communicator Series will realise this is a true blue business phone. And my life revolves around this dude. Anyways… even though he is a trusty phone, because of my non existent handling skills, he is all cracked up physically. Mentally he is as fit as a cat with who can smell the difference between Parmesan, Camembert and Ricotta cheese.

So I decided to find how much I would have to shell out to fix him up. Meanwhile my Grandfather’s Nokia 1108 had run into troubled waters.(No….Not Water Logging, Just Not Powering On) So had to fix his phone too.
Place : Nokia Care, Mount Road Opp Anand Theatre
Time : Noon, April 2008

I am going to try Tanglish. i.e. Tamizh written in English. An English Translation is available in brackets.
As I walk in to the store I am stopped by a security guard.

SG – Enna vennum saar???(what do you want saar???)
Me – Neenga dhan vennum.(I want you.)
SG – Saar vilayadadheenga.(Saar don’t play with me)
Me – Hayyo… hayyo… Mobile repair shopla edhukaga varuvanga???(Why do people come to a Nokia mobile service centre)
SG – Mobile repair pannava??? (To fix a Nokia Mobile)
Me – Ayyo, En Kaelveeku, maru kaelviya? Enna Kodumai Saar Idhu. (You are questioning my question???)
SG – Enna Phone model?(Which Phone Model?)
Me – (Showing him my grandfathers phone)Nokia 1108
SG – Saari saar idha laan inga repair pannamaatum. (Saari saar, we don’t repair this model)
Me – Oh anna, neenga meesai mayilsamy and also repair rangasamya…???(So dude, you are Moustache Mayilsamy and Repair Rangasamy???)
SG – Illa naan security gawd mattum dhan… Indhanga unga number cheetu…Appadi poyi ukarunga (No I am just a security Guard…Here is your numbered ticket…Please sit there)
Me – Thank you…

So I grabbed the numbered ticket and got a seat. And I started chanting “Mera Number kab aayega???” and presto I was called within 5 minutes, if you want you can read more at www.badcreditmobiles.net… Kind of surprised with the efficiency of the system they had in this place. But…Then…
Now another guard at another door examined the ticket given by the first guard. I think they have tried something something like a cinema hall. Someone issues a ticket. Then one guy checks it and let’s you in and helps you settle in a seat.

SG2 – Saar Counter Number 4.
Me Wokay…

Now I am sitting in counter number 4 which apparently looks like a place where I would probably sell drugs to hardcore druggies. And I am sitting face to face with a service representative.

SR – Yes saar how can I help you? (after that question she was talking to her neighbour and fixing some night lamp)
Me – hmmmm Indha phone ON aga matingidhu…( This phone is not powering ON)

She just continues doing her stuff.
SR – Yes saar How can I help you???
Me – (Thinking) Should I take her trip starting now, Naah probably she is distracted… Don’t lose your temper dude.
Me – Oh Phone ON aga matingidhu.(Phone is not powering On)
SR – Oh Indha modela saar. (Oh… this Model)

(And snatches the phone from my hand with a smirk on her face. Ofcourse it is the poor Nokia 1108.)
Now she asks her neighbour. Do we repair this model. For which she gets a “Yes but it will be treated as out of warranty.”

SR – Saar repair panna Rs 600 aagum and 15days minimum aagum… (It will cost you 600 Rs and 15 days to fix it)
Me – Ok… But what exactly is the problem?
SR – Saar neenga dhan phone On aagilaenu soneenga.(Oh you told me it is not powering on)
Me – Yeah I know what I said. But nee eppadi ma conclusionuku vandha…???(But how did you come to the conclusion…???) about Rs 600 and 15 days minimum.
SR – Illa saar…(No saar…) this is the normal procedure.
Me – (Thinking) This female is just bull shitting me.She has no clue about what to do. Her trip starts now!!!
Me – Wokay let me help you. Will you check the battery please?
SR – Oh OK saar…

Now she turns to her neighbour again and asks for a test battery, which she fixes in the phone and switches it on and Voila!!! The phone does turn on. WOW!!!

Me – Is it still gonna take 15 days? Aama indha phoneukku speciala Nokia la battery pannuveengala??? Would you kindly emboss my name on that battery…
SR – No saar just change the battery. OK saar… (With a gigglish voice)
Me – Adhu evalavu aagum???(How much will that cost???)
SR – Rs 600 saar.
Me – Oh is it like take anything for 600 Rs…Strange. OK but is this battery good enough.
SR – No sir, it has gone bad…
Me – Idhu Phone repair Centrea, illa Josiyum centrea…(Is this a phone repair centre or do you guys crystal gaze?)
SR – Enna solreenga saar…?(What are you saying saar…?)
Me – Oh you are making a lot of predictions… (At this point I should have walked away from that place…But….)

To be Contd…
Photo Courtesy :
www.fonearena.com/nokia-1108_40.html

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