I travelled to Nagpur in March and inspite of protests from my dad that I travel by TamilNadu Express I decided that travelling by air would keep me away from Pan-chewing and loud mouthed nosey travellers. But I was proved wrong.
Early morning flight to Mumbai was good. I flew Indigo and I have to say they have a pretty neat airplane and some pretty hostess’s. Next was a 4 hour wait at the Mumbai terminal to catch my connecting flight to Nagpur – The City of Oranges. It was such a relief to be back on board another Indigo Airlines flight for my new san diego vacation. But I was surprised to see about 30 people of assorted age traveling as a group. They were all hyper about being on board and there were some loud-mouthed discussions about beaches and firangi nangi women. I assumed they were returning from Goa via Mumbai. Even while the flight was preparing for take off some of the younger men of the group were busy taking photographs of the air hostess’s who seemed tickled by the extra-attention they were getting.
The minute the flight was in the air and the seat belt sign was gone the lone old man (addressed as “Kaka” by the rest of the group) sitting next to me by the window seat jumped out and was opening a bag from the overhead cabin I was worried that he had some medical condition and needed to get his medicines and but he starts whistling at the young air hostess gives her a big smile and takes out a huge packet of Haldiram’s Bhujia Sev from his bag. Next with a smirk on his face he yelled out to the air hostess just like he would yell at a servant maid and asks her to bring cups. The air -hostess rushed to get them all paper cups. Now Kaka ji fills his paper cup with Bhujia Sev and passes the pack around so that the others in his group could also have their fix. 
Snakes on a plane or Snacks on a plane #youprefer
Next, another man rushed to his bag and pulled out several oranges and soon the flight was filled with that citrusy smell. Kakaji offered me a cup of Bhujia Sev and some oranges. He gave me gyaan that it was the best food in the world I did not really want to eat Bhujia Sev at about 12 noon so I politely declined his offer. He was not happy and he realized that my Hindi was shaky and asked me where I was from and when he realized that I was from Chennai he started praising my Hindi saying that Madarasis dont speak in hindi and how come I could speak passable Hindi? He asked me a lot of questions for most of which I just gave a smile.
He introduced himself as a Wholesale Cloth Merchant from Nagpur and that he and 28 members from the Nagpur Cloth wholesellers association were returning from their annual vacation. It was Goa this time and he went on and on about all the white women in bikinis and how they all had a mast time. Soon it was time to land and the air hostess’s were busy asking people to put their seats in the upright position. I had to use the washroom and I was gone a a while.Next is what I gathered from an air hostess.
Apparently Kakaji wanted to sit on the aisle seat (so he could rush out first after the plane had landed ) and requested the passenger on the aisle seat to move to his window seat. The gentleman had moved and Kakaji took his aisle seat. At about this time the plane hit a air pocket and the Bhujia Sev and Oranges from the over head cabin rolled out and fell on Kakaji’s head.
It was quite a scene. The air hostess’s had to ask everyone to remain seated while they went about the job of collecting the oranges for Kakaji while he sat in his aisle seat with that smirk on his face and his hair filled with Bhujia Sev.
 The scene reminded me of this ashram in a city I used to live in like amsterdam and those littleamsterdam apartments. You could just walk in there and sit around the swamiji and get free drags on his chillum. The swamiji was too stoned to realize that the people were there for his chillum and not for his stoned discourses on life and death. 🙂